MY ZERO TOLERANCE FOR HOMOPHOBIA & THOSE WHO JUSTIFY IT

Last night my friend Emily was hosting a surprise going away party for a friend who's preparing to leave on a work assignment for 4 months. I rode over with friends Tracy and Preston around 20:00 and my partner Paul met up with us at the party around 22:30, after he got off work. In total, around 16-20 people showed up. Of course we ate and began the drinking...

All in all past the evening and into the early morning it was a lot of fun. I met some new people who we're really cool. Of course with the drinking, people became more uninhibited and "free spirited". As many of you may know, I'm a total social butterfly. I love to float around talking to people, cracking jokes, snapping pictures, starting games, initiating "shot time", etc. At some point in the early morning I had ventured into Emily's bedroom which is a common place we "regulars" congregate for a quick get away or to be silly, etc. Emily's friend Ally and a young Navy guy named Alex were laying in bed. My partner Paul was standing over the foot of the bed and everyone seemed drunk and giggly. Ally was telling us how big Alex's cock was...and of course me the instigator thought that was funny and told her, "then we want to see". Paul then told me that he had tried to (I can't remember the word for the life of me) him up. I just assumed he meant that Alex had tried to make a move on him or something like that...which is totally OK and in our comfort level as a couple. We're not closed minded with each other and typically not the jealous type. In fact at that moment I was thinking, this is even better. It might be easy to get this Navy boy to take his clothes off. Alex sat up quickly and told Paul, "come here". Paul had some hesitation and again Alex said, "come here". He then gave Paul a kiss on the cheek. I then said, "awe, I want one too" and he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

At some point after this Alex got up and left the room. Paul then told me again that Alex tried to (...and again I can't remember that work). This is where I became confused. I asked him, "He tried to kiss you?" and he said "no, he grabbed me by the neck of the shirt". I was instantly taken back and continued to get more details. From what I understand, Alex aggressively grabbed Paul by the neck of the shirt and got in his face and told him, "I'm not a fucking faggott, I'm straight." I instantly became outraged. By this time a few more people came into the room and someone removed Alex from the room. I then began to tell everyone present what had happened and how it's absolutely unacceptable.

For anyone who knows me, you know one good thing about me, and that's that you NEVER hurt someone I love. Whether that be a family member, close friend, pet...let a lone my lover.

By this point everything had become so comotional and I left the room for a moment. When I came back in Ally, Paul, Alex, and another person named Dee were in the room. I then began to tell Alex that he had seriously crossed the line. I explained to him that nobody ever places their hands on someone I love. He then became irate. He told me things like, "you don't fucking understand...I've had issued with my bisexuality...I can't help it...I'm drunk...the Navy installed me to think this way". This all made me more upset for the fact it's a bunch of bullshit. I grew up around homophobia, I struggled with my own sexuality, I've been through trauma as a child, I watched my mother killed by a 12 guage shotgun by her psychologically, unstable lover....but NEVER has that given me the right to aggressively attack someone, especially if they're gay.

Finally people stood in front of me because in all honesty, I was about to lay this guy out - face first on the floor. A few people drug him outside while others talked to me. They told me to forget about him, etc. Emily came in and told me it was bullshit. And that if anybody has an issues with her friend's lifestyle then they're not welcome in her home. She went on to apologize. Ally and John then came into tell me that he's outside crying his eyes out. I told them I don't care. Ally then got carried away making up excuse after excuse for this guy Alex. Sadly, Ally is married and Alex is someone she has sex with on the side. They we're all over each other at the party and she told us earlier in the evening how they have "hooked up" before. So it is with no wonder that she want this guy back in the house. We all finally calmed down (myself included) and I was told he had left.

About 30 minutes later I was looking for Paul and could not find him. I asked around and some people said he was in Emily's room. When I went in there, there's Alex laying in bed with him. I then became upset again. Everything then turned loud again and I finally concluded "he goes or I go". The answer didn't come soon enough so I took off. The guy Dee mentioned earlier, ran out after me and stopped me outside. He told me it was all unacceptable and to come back inside and he will make sure Alex leaves. Reluctantly I when back upstairs and everyone is shouting back and forth. I yelled out, "I'm out of here" and left. I walked home 1.5 miles in 20 degree temperatures in snow, ice and wind....WITH HOUSE SLIPPERS ON! I made it home safely.

Unfortunately the drama continues from here more...but I won't get into that as it's all too exhausting. I will say that when we got home, Paul told me that Ally told him, "Fuck Eddie, he's just jealous"...so I sent her husband and email on Facebook saying that he may or may not know she's sleeping around...but the guy she is sleeping around with attacked my partner....and it's not cool.

Please tell me what you think of all this mess? I'm exhausted by it all and the only positive thing that comes from it is my thoughts walking all the way home. I conclude that not everyone in your life is who they seem to be. Don't leave yourself vulnerable. Stand up for what is right. If you defend and justify hate, your are no different...you are hate too.