MY ZERO TOLERANCE FOR HOMOPHOBIA & THOSE WHO JUSTIFY IT

Last night my friend Emily was hosting a surprise going away party for a friend who's preparing to leave on a work assignment for 4 months. I rode over with friends Tracy and Preston around 20:00 and my partner Paul met up with us at the party around 22:30, after he got off work. In total, around 16-20 people showed up. Of course we ate and began the drinking...

All in all past the evening and into the early morning it was a lot of fun. I met some new people who we're really cool. Of course with the drinking, people became more uninhibited and "free spirited". As many of you may know, I'm a total social butterfly. I love to float around talking to people, cracking jokes, snapping pictures, starting games, initiating "shot time", etc. At some point in the early morning I had ventured into Emily's bedroom which is a common place we "regulars" congregate for a quick get away or to be silly, etc. Emily's friend Ally and a young Navy guy named Alex were laying in bed. My partner Paul was standing over the foot of the bed and everyone seemed drunk and giggly. Ally was telling us how big Alex's cock was...and of course me the instigator thought that was funny and told her, "then we want to see". Paul then told me that he had tried to (I can't remember the word for the life of me) him up. I just assumed he meant that Alex had tried to make a move on him or something like that...which is totally OK and in our comfort level as a couple. We're not closed minded with each other and typically not the jealous type. In fact at that moment I was thinking, this is even better. It might be easy to get this Navy boy to take his clothes off. Alex sat up quickly and told Paul, "come here". Paul had some hesitation and again Alex said, "come here". He then gave Paul a kiss on the cheek. I then said, "awe, I want one too" and he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

At some point after this Alex got up and left the room. Paul then told me again that Alex tried to (...and again I can't remember that work). This is where I became confused. I asked him, "He tried to kiss you?" and he said "no, he grabbed me by the neck of the shirt". I was instantly taken back and continued to get more details. From what I understand, Alex aggressively grabbed Paul by the neck of the shirt and got in his face and told him, "I'm not a fucking faggott, I'm straight." I instantly became outraged. By this time a few more people came into the room and someone removed Alex from the room. I then began to tell everyone present what had happened and how it's absolutely unacceptable.

For anyone who knows me, you know one good thing about me, and that's that you NEVER hurt someone I love. Whether that be a family member, close friend, pet...let a lone my lover.

By this point everything had become so comotional and I left the room for a moment. When I came back in Ally, Paul, Alex, and another person named Dee were in the room. I then began to tell Alex that he had seriously crossed the line. I explained to him that nobody ever places their hands on someone I love. He then became irate. He told me things like, "you don't fucking understand...I've had issued with my bisexuality...I can't help it...I'm drunk...the Navy installed me to think this way". This all made me more upset for the fact it's a bunch of bullshit. I grew up around homophobia, I struggled with my own sexuality, I've been through trauma as a child, I watched my mother killed by a 12 guage shotgun by her psychologically, unstable lover....but NEVER has that given me the right to aggressively attack someone, especially if they're gay.

Finally people stood in front of me because in all honesty, I was about to lay this guy out - face first on the floor. A few people drug him outside while others talked to me. They told me to forget about him, etc. Emily came in and told me it was bullshit. And that if anybody has an issues with her friend's lifestyle then they're not welcome in her home. She went on to apologize. Ally and John then came into tell me that he's outside crying his eyes out. I told them I don't care. Ally then got carried away making up excuse after excuse for this guy Alex. Sadly, Ally is married and Alex is someone she has sex with on the side. They we're all over each other at the party and she told us earlier in the evening how they have "hooked up" before. So it is with no wonder that she want this guy back in the house. We all finally calmed down (myself included) and I was told he had left.

About 30 minutes later I was looking for Paul and could not find him. I asked around and some people said he was in Emily's room. When I went in there, there's Alex laying in bed with him. I then became upset again. Everything then turned loud again and I finally concluded "he goes or I go". The answer didn't come soon enough so I took off. The guy Dee mentioned earlier, ran out after me and stopped me outside. He told me it was all unacceptable and to come back inside and he will make sure Alex leaves. Reluctantly I when back upstairs and everyone is shouting back and forth. I yelled out, "I'm out of here" and left. I walked home 1.5 miles in 20 degree temperatures in snow, ice and wind....WITH HOUSE SLIPPERS ON! I made it home safely.

Unfortunately the drama continues from here more...but I won't get into that as it's all too exhausting. I will say that when we got home, Paul told me that Ally told him, "Fuck Eddie, he's just jealous"...so I sent her husband and email on Facebook saying that he may or may not know she's sleeping around...but the guy she is sleeping around with attacked my partner....and it's not cool.

Please tell me what you think of all this mess? I'm exhausted by it all and the only positive thing that comes from it is my thoughts walking all the way home. I conclude that not everyone in your life is who they seem to be. Don't leave yourself vulnerable. Stand up for what is right. If you defend and justify hate, your are no different...you are hate too.

TO EACH OF YOU IN 2010!

To my partner Paul, thank you for an amazing year...which was filled with new adventures, commitments, trials which were overcome, new experiences and most especially a deep growth in our love. This new year, I walk hand and hand with you into new goals, prosperity, deeper bonding and much happiness!

To my family, both blood related and not. Thank you for your love, support and loyalty. You have all touched my heart in so many ways this year with suggestions, strength, and reassurance.

To my spiritual advisers, thank you for your faith in God, your faith in me. Thank you for your support in helping me see a bigger picture. You are all mentors to my soul in so many ways.

To my friends and acquaintances, thank you for your humor, laughter and support. Each of you complete a circle for me which makes life more fun, more lively, more exciting.

To my Twitter friends (Tweeps). Thank you for all of your tweets! Thank you for sharing 140 character or less briefs on your life and thank you for allowing me to share mine. It's because of all of you I see the visualization of true diversity...and it's beautiful!

To my clients, A BIG THANK YOU!

To each of you. May God bless you as we close the chapter in the first decade of this second millennium. May you and yours, find a year filled with happiness, good health, love and new dreams.

I LOVE YOU ALL!

Eddie Weingart :)

INFLUENCE: PRIDE & LOVE

As many of you know I'm in love with photography! I've begun a new Flickr group called iPAL, Influence: Pride and Love. It's a group for other photography buffs in the LGBT community to share such influential photo work as well as discussions, tips, and more! If you're on Flickr, please head over to iPAL and join!

THE END...FINALLY!

The blog post regarding "The Drama" has been deleted. We went to court this afternoon as the Complainant, with my case as Defendant to be heard on Monday. Today the Defendant was found Not Guilty based on my blog post in which I was told by the judge, "I took the law into my own hands by posting the blog". Whatever. My Defendant case was dismissed by the Complainant. Paul and I are just glad this is all over so we can move on with our lives with the people who love and care about us. Thanks for all your support.

DIVERISTY - THE WORLD WE LIVE IN.

I'd be lying if I said the following video "isn't funny" but it's also quite sad. A black woman on a MUNI bus in San Francisco mouth off to an angry Chinese woman, she then hit the Chinese woman...and lets just say that the Chinese woman kicks her ass.

5'10" + 125 lbs = TOO FAT?

This is just disturbing and disgusting. I ran across this article from Yahoo's Shine after a friend posted it on his Facebook wall. What is society coming too? Read it for yourself and tell me what you think!

Last week Ralph Lauren came under fire for (what looked to be) an extremely altered photo of a model in one of its ads. Bloggers at the website BoingBoing.net posted the image online, and lawyers for Ralph Lauren attempted to sue them for copyright infringement. Unfortunately for RL, this only furthered public interest and outrage over the dangerously-thin looking model and, eventually, the clothing company released this apology:

"For over 42 years we have built a brand based on quality and integrity. After further investigation, we have learned that we are responsible for the poor imaging and retouching that resulted in a very distorted image of a woman's body. We have addressed the problem and going forward will take every precaution to ensure that the caliber of our artwork represents our brand appropriately."

Unfortunately,"addressing the problem," may have included firing the model, 23-year-old Filippa Hamilton. She is 5'10" and weighs 120 lbs--clearly more full-bodied than the Photoshopped girl we see in the advertisement. Though Hamilton has modeled for Ralph Lauren since she was 15, the company let her go "as a result of her inability to meet the obligations under her contract with us." But the story gets worse: Hamilton says she was let go because she'd become too fat to model for them. "They fired me because they said I was overweight and I couldn't fit in their clothes anymore," she explained. "I was shocked to see that super skinny girl with my face...It's very sad, I think, that Ralph Lauren could do something like that."

Most of us know that a tall, young woman who weighs 120lbs is not overweight. But Hamilton claims Ralph Lauren was dissatisfied with her body, and, therefore, fired her six months ago. However, the company continued to use her image, whittling down her arms, waist, thighs, and possibly several other body parts in the above ad. If they were so unhappy with how she looked, why not get another model for the campaign? Why use the photos and alter and distort them?

Today, Ralph Lauren himself is distancing himself from the ad, claiming, "The image in question was mistakenly released and used in a department store in Japan and was not the approved image which ran in the U.S." So we're confused. They say the Photoshopping was an error, that Hamilton is "beautiful and healthy," yet they allegedly fired her for her size? With all these apologies and statements it sounds like the brand still has yet to accept responsibility for their actions.

When I searched for more images of Filippa Hamilton, I instantly remembered her--she was the face of RL's fragrance, Romance, has been featured on the cover of international editions of Vogue and Elle, along with many ads. She's a gorgeous woman. "I think they [Ralph Lauren] owe American women an apology, a big apology," says Hamilton. "I'm very proud of what I look like, and I think a role model should look healthy."

The truth is, models get fired or overlooked all the time for being what the industry considers overweight, we just rarely see or hear about it. Eating disorders are not only common among models, they're common among the women and young girls who emulate them. We're happy to see that Hamilton has come forward, and wish more models and celebrities would do the same. It's awesome and empowering when stars admit they've been Photoshopped for an ad or movie poster and say how dissatisfied they are about it. With foreign countries banning underweight models from fashion week, and the increasing presence of "plus size" models in women's magazines, we wish the unhealthy representation and falsified depiction of models--and women--would come to an end entirely. Do you think the day will ever come?

WHY HOMOSEXUALITY SHOULD BE BANNED???

Yup, you read the title right...so go check out this awesome and well done video that my friend Stephen posted on his Facebook. The kids definitely a hottie to for an added bonus! :D

IT'S NO DIFFERENT - BOYCOTT NFL!

Over the last couple of hours I have been bombarded in emails and messages on sites such a Twitter and Facebook with comments regarding my last post, NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BOYCOTT THE NFL. Many people shared my understanding and disgust, but some others don't understand "what the big deal is all about". So I had to take some time to come up with a general, deatailed conclussion...and I hope this helps...

First of all you need to ask yourself if you believe, support and promote the protection of Animals. This doesn't mean you have to identify as some radical, PETA supporting activist. But ask yourself the following questions:

1) Do I own an animal as a pet?

2) Do I believe they are dependent on humans?

3) Is there life less important than other lives dependant on people, i.e. children, senior citizens, minorities?

4) How serious is animal abuse and killing animals to me?

Now let me compare this controversial situation to something that may better help your relate to what's going on.

• I'm a proud, loving parent of children. An NFL player takes my child(ren) and abuses them by means of beating, kicking, drowning, electricution, starvation, cutting, stabbing, choking, strangling, then joins others in wagering money and valuables on the chanches of their survival. This NFL player is caught, lies over and over to his commisioner, authorities and court. Is sentenced lightly to 23 months in prison, gets out and is quickly reinstated by the NFL later to be signed by a team as quarterback. How does this make me feel? Am I outraged? Should he be privelaged to play professionally in a way that so many people look up to him?
• I'm an African American. An NFL player takes a fellow African American and abuses them by means of beating, kicking, drowning, electricution, starvation, cutting, stabbing, choking, strangling, then joins others in wagering money and valuables on the chanches of their survival. This NFL player is caught, lies over and over to his commisioner, authorities and court. Is sentenced lightly to 23 months in prison, gets out and is quickly reinstated by the NFL later to be signed by a team as quarterback. How does this make me feel? Am I outraged? Should he be privelaged to play professionally in a way that so many people look up to him?
• I'm a Gay or Lesbian person. An NFL player takes a fellow Gay or Lesbian person from my community and abuses them by means of beating, kicking, drowning, electricution, starvation, cutting, stabbing, choking, strangling, then joins others in wagering money and valuables on the chanches of their survival. This NFL player is caught, lies over and over to his commisioner, authorities and court. Is sentenced lightly to 23 months in prison, gets out and is quickly reinstated by the NFL later to be signed by a team as quarterback. How does this make me feel? Am I outraged? Should he be privelaged to play professionally in a way that so many people look up to him?
• I'm a friend or family member of somebody with a disability. An NFL player takes my diabled friend or family member and abuses them by means of beating, kicking, drowning, electricution, starvation, cutting, stabbing, choking, strangling, then joins others in wagering money and valuables on the chanches of their survival. This NFL player is caught, lies over and over to his commisioner, authorities and court. Is sentenced lightly to 23 months in prison, gets out and is quickly reinstated by the NFL later to be signed by a team as quarterback. How does this make me feel? Am I outraged? Should he be privelaged to play professionally in a way that so many people look up to him?
• I'm a lover of animals and own one or several. I believe in protecting them since they are dependent on me. I believe they are living, breathing creatures that feel love, fear, pain and stress. An NFL player takes one of my animals and abuses them by means of beating, kicking, drowning, electricution, starvation, cutting, stabbing, choking, strangling, then joins others in wagering money and valuables on the chanches of their survival. This NFL player is caught, lies over and over to his commisioner, authorities and court. Is sentenced lightly to 23 months in prison, gets out and is quickly reinstated by the NFL later to be signed by a team as quarterback. How does this make me feel? Am I outraged? Should he be privelaged to play professionally in a way that so many people look up to him?

This is how me an MANY OTHER PEOPLE feel. We understand he "did his time", whether that was enought time for such a horrific act, that's not the point. What is the point is that this violent, lying human being is being privelaged to play in a sport where so many people look up to the players as role models, mentors and leaders. The world sees it as, "they were only dogs". There is no way in hell the NFL would reinstate a player in one of the above mentioned scenarios.

Think about this! Discuss this! Discern it! Pray about it! THIS IS JUST PLAIN WRONG!

NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BOYCOTT THE NFL

I don't even know where to begin with this nightmare of publicity, greed and hypocrisy regarding Michael Vick. I was utterly disgusted to learn about Vick's reinstatement last month by NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell. I'm even more disgusted to learn that the NFC East, Philadelphia Eagles has signed Michael Vick.

I'm a longtime fan of football at large, especially the NFL. I was no different than other young football loving boys who though at one time, "maybe I have what it takes". You grow up to learn that those who play professionally have more than a love for the sport, they have a gift and are given the privilege of playing on an NFL team. I can't even begin to tell you how many NFL players helped shape my childhood...without ever coming into contact with me. I looked up to these "stranger" as role models and in a sense, a mentor. Unfortunately as I got older, the NFL started to look less grand and encouraging as it did to me as a child. All of a sudden there are scandals, cheating, criminal activity, etc. For the most part, these problems work themselves out over time. You might not agree with the length of time it takes or what fans have to do to get the attention on the matter...but eventually good overtakes the bad...and you accept that as satisfactory.

But now we face an issue totally different, very, very disturbing. We face the violent criminal activity, evasion of truth, and manipulations of ex Atlanta Falcons quarterback, Michael Vick. After much lies and deceit, Michael Vick finally plead guilty to multiple accounts of animal abuse and neglect related to his dog fighting underground. One might not understand how he, or anyone takes a dog and turns them violent. The answer is constant barbaric physical and mental abuse...punching, hitting, electric shocking, cutting, drowning, kicking, starving of dogs...bringing them to a violent point of surviving. One might also not understand that the underground of dog fighting is not wagering on something like a boxing match where there's a possible knockout or judging of performance...no, a dog fight is a fight to kill. Two (and sometimes more) very violent, very abused, very neglected, very violent dogs are presented to each other where they fight until death. In many cases both die, as the "winner" dies later for severe loss of blood, infection, torn muscles and or ligaments, broken bones, eternal bleeding, shock, and so on. Michael Vick wasn't just a participant in this activity, he was a long time coordinator and master mind.

In 2007 he was arrested. While free on bail he tested positive to narcotics in a drug test. Vick repeatedly lied about any participation in his activities to the NFL Commissioner...later he finally plead guilty in court. He was given a light prison sentence of 2 years which he served. After being released from prison, talk immediately started to buzz on Vick's return to the NFL. Now, months later he is reinstated, signed as quarterback and waiting for his light terms to end so he can play. This has caused outrage. The African American community immediately came to Vick's aid...almost deeming that it would be racist to not reinstate Vick. Other supporters of the dog-murderer quote deceased, crime affiliated rap artists such as Tupac Shakur, saying "Only God Can Judge Me". On the other side of the fence there are rational people such as myself who see a VIOLENT, LYING, MANIPULATING, CARELESS, ASSHOLE being privileged to regain play and status in the NFL. What people fail to understand is this is not a second chance....Vick received his second chance when he was released from prison. End of story. There should be no talk of second chance in the NFL...he blew that when he did what he did. I compare it to a violent felon who is released from prison and wants to join the military, police department, fire department, etc. Those are civic duties of privilege and responsibility, and though the NFL is much different than civic occupation, it too is a position of privilege and responsibility. It should never have allowance or tolerance for violent offenders such as rapists, murders, pedophiles, dog killers.

What turns this even more into a tail spin is when two years ago, Philadelphia Eagles owner, Jeffrey Lurie stated:

"We're very disciplined in what we stand for...a few years ago we had a couple players who were, to put this nicely, not very respectful of their dogs. Well, we don't respect that. We don't do that. And they were gone from the team almost immediately if not immediately. That sets a tone, that these kinds of attitudes are unacceptable."

But now, Michael Vick is signed on a quarter back of Mr. Lurie's team, with the possibility of making $1.6 million in his first season.

I have no doubt that his has nothing to do with publicity, it has to do with money...greedy desperation to hire some good playing low-life to possibly bring your team to a win. People are primarily upset with the Eagle's where I'm even more upset with the NFL for allowing this man to play for ANY TEAM. And in that realization, for the first time in my life...I will FULLY boycott the NFL...including my beloved Greenbay Packers. I will not watch a game, I will not attend a game, I will not buy merchandise and I will loudly and publicly voice my strong and unfailing opposition the NFL until Michael Vick is removed. This hurts, this hurts bad but I have to stand up to this, EVERYONE MUST STAND UP TO THIS! If the man failed to pay parking tickets, got drunk at a party and ran down the street naked, or something non violently offensive...I wouldn't be as opposed. But this is an abusive, convicted dog destroyer. Not someone who neglects a dog by not giving fresh water, cleaning up after them, or taking them to the vet when they need medical attention....THIS IS A MAN WHO FOR A VERY LONG TIME, TORTURED AND MUTILATED NUMEROUS DOGS ALL IN THE NAME OF MONEY.

Stand up for society, stand up for good justice, stand up for the protection of animals and STAND UP FOR THE SAKE OF COMMON SENSE....BOYCOTT THE NFL TODAY!

THE BEGINNING OF A LIFETIME

....Continued from the July 21 post, "ONE RINGY DINGY...TWO RINGY DINGY"

This time last year we have literally spent every night talking to each other on the phone. Every time I would talk to Paul I found myself even more captivated by his interests, beliefs, passion, creativity and most especially his humor. It's no joke that early off I had developed a "crush" but now, mysteriously, I've been developing other feelings. "Why do I feel this way, how do I make it stop" are all questions I continuously asked myself.

I've always has three cardinal rules. These are rules that not only I followed, but rules I felt the need to point out to friends and/or family should they break them.

1) No long distance dating/relationships.

2) No relationships for at least 18 months after coming out of a long term relationship.

3) No falling for someone of the Internet.

Of course, I never thought these rules were unreasonable. In fact I never saw them as "rules" as much as I saw them as instincts. But night after night, I really found myself starting to fall for this Paul. The more I tried to fight it, the deeper my feelings got. I remember lying in my bed, during the middle of the night (I imagine he was doing the same thing) telling each other how awesome it would be to just cuddle up and talk face to face, unfortunately 3,000 miles separated us. This time last year his apartment's air conditioning unit was on the fritz, he was miserable because of the heat and would always tell me that I wouldn't want to be there for that. "Nonsense" I'd reply, "I'd sweat my ass of like a pig if it meant I could just see you, touch you...kiss you".

In so many ways Paul seemed like a fantasy, a very beautiful, magical and unfair fantasy. Of course I talked about him to all of my friends. Many of them thought I was nuts for even pursuing such a thing, while many others encouraged me to believe in the unbelievable, to gain drive from my feeling, to tell him how I feel! "TELL HIM HOW I FEEL?" Well that just sounded like the most asinine advice ever. Tell this amazing, charming, beautiful, interesting stud muffin how I fell when he probably doesn't even remotely feel that way about me....or does he? I thought about it for a few days.

The evening of August 4, 2008 Paul and I started out one of our fabulous all night conversations...which carried over into the VERY EARLY morning of August 5, 2009. All of a sudden in the middle in something we will just say, "doesn't matter", Paul told me how he would give anything just to kiss me right now. WHOA IS ME! Really? I had to tell him. I had to tell him that as insane as it sounds, I'm falling in love with him. That he has ignited my heart and soul like I never knew possible, that every thought is him, that I smile and sometimes cry just thinking about him, that he brings out creativity and sound in my guitar music, that I get the chills all over my body when I take a deep breath in and think of him...I had to tell all of this to this marvelous stranger. But if course it's not that easy. I don't have the balls to just come out and say "I LOVE YOU" in this most perfect moment on the telephone. So instead I resorted to my middle school experiences of hinting about it, telling him I have something to tell him but I'm scared too. Whoa is me, he caught my bluff and told me the same thing..."I have something to tell you but I'm scared, I can't say it". This is where the rest of the conversation became a haze. But somewhere in that magical moment 1 year ago today, we told each other "I LOVE YOU".

One year ago today, I broke my cardinal rules which were rules "society" actually says one should live by. One year ago I went out on a limb and listened to my heart...and nothing else. One year ago today, my dream came true. That trust in love has led to the proof that Paul and I share a deep, mind-blowing love that knows no limits, no boundaries, no conditions. It wasn't easy making this work. Remember, we we're 3,000 miles away...but we didn't let that stop us. Those we're 3,000 miles in a country we both live in. We have telephones, Internet, cards to mail, letters to right....then airplanes to fly on. And we used everyone of those resources. I finally got out to Paul in October....which I will write about more in October. I can't spill all story in one blog, I've got to keep you coming back for more so you can see what happened, how we're now living together, with no mileage separation ever again.

Paul, thank you for the most amazing year in this boy's 30 years of life. Everyday you still find those ways to take my breath away and leave me in awe. You have become the most important person and center of my life. I can't imagine a day without you beside me. You strengthen my Faith, Hope and Love in God who can only create such beauty, this love we share. One year down....with a lifetime to go! I love you Baby, from the bottom of my heart!